What gives with the new 'I'm not gay, but I just suck cock" mentality of today's youth?

        The above photo is only one of two dozen that a young man (who called himself Str8man) posted on another gay discussion board. The user explained that he was 'really' straight, but that he wanted (or needed) the advice of guys who could be honest about whether his 'dick' was big enough or not. It was obviously more than simply that because the posting of his self-pics (never the face) has gone on periodically for several months now.

 
 

       While initially a 'virgin', he explained during the course of the posts how 

he had had sexual experiences with his girlfriend, but was often horny so considered getting a 'blowjob' from a guy at some point. I think this type of Net 'naked' exposure or self-revelation is symptomatic of what I call the need for male 'skinship' - a form of the CMNM experience. As our societies have accepted 'gayness' (at least to some legal extent), the stigma about being bi or gay - while not vanished - is certainly greatly reduced and for a few happy (no pun intended) gay men, it may be non-existent. However, at the same time, I think this new sexual 'freedom' for all males puts traditional self-

identity in some type of young males and even older men into greater jeopardy. In a way, the macho male is even more threatened in his feelings of isolation and his lack of ability to make 'acceptable' buddy-buddy relationships with other males (particularly those a little older and wiser ) in whom he cannot fully confide or whose affection and need for intimacy he feels he must still largely deny - except for 'outburst' like this one on gay/bi Net sites. 

         In a way, gay sites are becoming the confessionals of a whole new

generation of males who crave deeper male intimacy - with or without everything else that is involved in a emotional romantic or sexual interpersonal relationship. For the young kid or full-blow teenage, (such as Str8man above) who may have no father (divorced parents) or even no close adult relationships at all - especially men because of today's climate of paranoia about the potential of 'child abuse' by ordinary adults and social authorities figures (teachers, counselors, coaches, priests). He may feel particularly isolated or alone in his feeling of inadequacy -- especially when he is growing up, going through adolescence's change and hormonal upheavals, and experiencing the first few sexual and romantic relationships. It seems to be all to common to see exactly we are seeing above -- it's emblematic of a larger social phenomenon. 

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 I think that many guys who visit (lurk) or participate in the message boards and forums of gay social networking and gay hook-up sites such as Dudesnude, JustusBoys, Gaywatch, Dlist, Lifeout, and definitely on sites such as DickFlash are actually craving CMNM experiences -- rather than true simply just sex to get off. It's not that they don't need or wan
t to get off (ejaculate) or that they don't need to communicate or try to relate and form relationships or friendship, but I believe that the need to profoundly reach a deep intimate level of emotional or psycho-sexual communication or interaction with other men - THAT fundamentally involves nudity - is a very strong force and a desire they feel that must fulfill.

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Therefore, I would like to expand the definition of CMNM (clothed male - naked male). You can see that expanded definition in earlier entries of the blog I have started, devoted to this topic: Guys Into CMNM You can read it at: http://guysn2cmnm.blogspot.com Your experiences, stories, comments/reactions, Net resources, pics are welcomed as contributions for the CMNM blog. Please send them to: sunbunz AT gmail DOT com

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           In CNMN experiences, not everyone involved needs to be to completely dressed or undressed (there can be mixed dressed/nude people in the same situation). It's the potential for nudity as a form of intimate or erotic communication that is more important than actually who is nude or clothed and how far each way. There can be more than one nude guys - it's just that there must be one clothed guys too. Often, guys can get CMNM thrills by being the dressed one or the naked one alternatively. I know that it works this way for me. I'm not passing any critical judgement on any other kind of male-oriented sexual lifestyle -- (flashing, BDSM, leather, role-playing (involving uniforms or costumes) because some people are turned on by multiple form of sexual stimulation - some of us are bisexual (past / present and future) and some of us get off flashing or simply just being exposed (or getting to see those who do). 

A true (extreme) dickflasher seems to get off by

showing an erect cock in places/situations where people don't expect it and are shocked to have the 'space' invaded by a hard dick.. at the extreme, it may be the only way he can get off (ejaculate). It seems that there are actually very few guys who fall into that category. 

         The CMNM (being exposed where clothed guys can view (and/or be visual stimuated) seems to find his (me being one of them) thrill in being naked in front of guys (dressed or in a state of dressing/undressing) where it's is more or less socially acceptable or at least tolerated (even glorified) - like a public street fair or a no-pants or strip night at a male-oriented bar, etc, or more 'innocently' in a locker room or frat party. But I know that in my case, I get a lot more

social/psychological fulfillment / satisifaction (?) and some erotic/sexual pleasure from being in a CMNM situation - especially where I can establish a personal relationship with the clothed (or naked) guys. Recently, I find this often happens in a hostel or similar situation (campground, at the beach or gym showers, or clothing optional resort, etc, where you meet and befriend strangers who later get to see you naked or even aroused - almost by 'accident' not totally by design). 

I collect a lot of CMNM photos and have them for 'friends only' on: http://www.flickr.com/people/sunbunz/ You have to join Flickr (free) and add me as friend to view the pics. Please STATE on your profile that you are 18 years old or OVER 18 This makes things legal and I'll get less flack from Flickr for pandering to minors. There are also thousands of Flickr groups (little discussion but lots of photos) devoted to different aspects of this same idea: Frat parties, doctor's physical exams, being naked in public (not just flashing from a alley or window), sports locker rooms, etc. My own Net photos collections are categorized in sets as such. There are also scores of Net porn sites devoted to some particular 'flavor' or scene that is strongly related to CMNM. There are also a few private and public groups on Yahoo and Tribe.net devoted to CMNM. 

* You must be a Flickr member and my Flickr friend to view the private pics on my Flickr photostream.
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The spirit is willing but the flash is week day and weekend!

Tearoom Cruising: Gay Hook-ups in Public in Japan, and elsewhere

Part I - Cruising public toilets in Tokyo's train stations.

I went out shopping yesterday afternoon -- as horny as hell. I had the intention of dropping by the gay sauna after hitting some electronics store, but then decided to stop in at the 'friendly' men's room on the basement (B1) floor of the largest train station. I went to the men's WC inside the ticket gate -

since there are multiple train and subway platforms in the station and that necessitates having several public restrooms. But there is also one outside the ticket guichet, among the various subterranean shops sprawling out under the city's largest transportation hub.

The first one was pretty much quiet with no apparent action. So I went out through the wicket and out in the underground mall and proceeded to the next public restroom for men.

Wow! It was crowded and hopping with guys, several of whom looked 
like their crotches were glued to the urinals, and their heads were turning, trying to get a look at either the next guy's dick or they were craning their heads to get a

glimpse of cock further along the row of about 15-18 urinals. Just to my right, there were about 6 more guys standing at the pissoires (in this case, individual white ceramic urinals). I could tell there were several of them on the prowl.

These really look like almost any public restrooms in Japan except that about a millon people come through the station every weekday and a portion of them stop by these restrooms - not always just to piss or take a dump. Even in Shinjuku station in broad daylight, I've seen guys reach over and grab another's cock. I have to say that such behavior is not normal but is happening because it's pretty obvious why the several guys are hanging out a lot longer in the public toilet than to just take a piss.Nowadays, there are security guards (men and women) who patrol the corridors and public restrooms. There is a sign posted (in Japanese) to notify people that there are security patrols and that 'inappropriate' or suspicious behavior should be reported to the station staff.
Nevertheless, the cruising goes on relentlessly.

Leungtony's Videos. This video (not mine) is brief and not too detailed or explicit, but gives you a clue to what the situation at a public train station toilet looks like.

I waited a few minutes, getting excited by the prospects of these guys being horny and looking to
hook-up or at least get a few strokes off in a public place. After a bit, the urinals around me emptied and I saw a guy about 35-ish, standing back a bit from the pisser, exposing what was a fairly hefty piece of erect meat with a beautiful mushroom head on it. I looked up at his face and got a knowing smirk. He could tell I liked what I was seeing and so.. I pulled back a bit and let him get a gander of my sausage pole. He was ready to go for it and he started stroking himself more, all the while gazing around to see who was (or wasn't) looking at us.Some guys are turned on so much by the flagrant exhibitionist pleasure of masturbating and exposing their cocks on public that they can ejaculate pre-maturely.... well... at least before any real pleasure can be had from his hanging wiener by the bevy of onlookers. This guy was definitely a show-off. He basked in the delight that his hard straight dick was causing me and at least two guys behind us were getting from this little parade of cocks.

That's when he made his move. He partially zipped up and then sidled over a couple of urinals to stand next to mine. I looked down with even greater approval in my eyes and licked my lips provocatively to honor his now-even-greater extended mancock muscle. I looked around now overly anxious or worried, but still not wanting to be arrested for lewd behavior as a visitor in a strange country - not my own. (Or maybe that's why I was cruising public toilets for sex.. if I am totally straight - NO - I mean honest (:>;).

He looked around too.. as if daring anyone to attempt to stop him. He pulled closed to me and reached out to put his hand down the front of my body in order to grab my throbbing boner. But sadly, it was not to be. Just then, a crowd of disinterested or unaware male commuters rushes to the toilet and takes up pissing stances at the urinals surrounding us. It wasn't going to be easy to get a blowjob or a handjob in this Friday afternoon pedestrian traffic. So I decided I'd take my dick and look for a more secure and safer place to 'park' it by going to the gay baths for the rest of the afternoon.

While I zipped up my full erect cock, nothing much could hide its distended state for
engorgement. The guy who had almost accosted me and grabbed my exposed dick, looking only partly disappointed - for he has spied another possible victim behind us on at a urinal on the side wall. Had we had more time and inclination, I would have led the little teaser into one of the restroom stalls lined up directly opposite us, but then again, we might have made too much noise once he started going at full-on male-for-male sex in the tiny toilet stall. That would have surely
have caused a security guard who make regular patrols into the restrooms to become suspicious.

I have done that and it's easier if you go to the pay toilets in the different part of the station or if you lead your prey or partner in perverted public sex to a men's room instead one of the department stores that surround the train station. But today that was not to be.

I spent 4 hours at the gay baths (24 Kaikan) getting sucked and fucking ass, and also watching a lot of guys doing that too. But still I got my hardest erection thinking about what had almost happened in that public restroom in one of the world's busiest train stations just a little while before.