Picking up guys - An ongoing discussion and revelations

[ Most of this entry was excepted from a comment I wrote on Jo's blog]

Thanks to Jo Kristian of Histories of Sex Blog http://historiesofsex.blogspot.com for his own poll, and inviting us to answer the Sex Meme one below, and for generating the stimulating discussion on 'How to pick up guys for casual sex.'


His posts always get my hormones boiling especially when I imagine the parts that you cleverly (or coyly?) leave out of your descriptions of sexual adventuring.
My slant on 'making and taking one's opportunities' is too long to enunciate here. Gist: It's not so much a matter of what defines the sexual / erotic/ suggestive behavior, but what result(s) the behavior produces.

Let me briefly explain (exchanging comments only works for short conversations - I think).

For example, I often go out to walk my dogs (in turns since there are 3 of them) early in the morning (and sometimes at other times of day) with my zipper all the way down. With a untucked in shirt, it's not clearly visible UNLESS someone is actually glimpsing at it or trying to peer in order to get a look at my pubes or cock. You have commented on that before - you can TELL who's interested by

following the paths their eyes take as they approach.

The 'result' in your case might be a potential encounter in the bushes of the park. But for others of us, that's far less likely (in suburban Tokyo or London) so it just appears - in effect - to be an (older man's) exhibitionistic fetish behaviour. Neither of these is a problem but the actual result and also the way such behaviour is perceived by the person doing it, by the interested viewer, and the uninterested passer-by (even angry or disgusted), or even by hearsay in society can be enormously different and therefore have a great effect on the person doing it. There is probably less effect on the guys who notice and just try to forget about it.


Youth certainly has its charms and it often affords one the license to be free of guilt or very uninhibited since youth can choose to act on it - both in having desire or in the lack of it and any action.

What seems critical to me is the psychological game (a type of sexual ecology) that's going on in these situations. Thomas Mann's A Death in Venice is a classic portrait of the two sides of the romantic (and hardly even physical) chase between the young and the older male. I wonder what Tadzio was thinking when he noticed the older man watching him. It's probably a bit like that for you .. after all, you only in your early 20s. Think for a moment (oh..so briefly - if you will) of what things will be like when you are nearly 50 or even 70 years of age.

As always.. thanks for writing (and reading)....

Kelly